Always There
by gleebrittanashipper
Summary: When Santana falls sick one night Brittany's there to help her; the following chapters show the relationship between the girls, and that maybe Santana isn't the broken one of the two.
1. Chapter 1

After a long day of school and Glee practice, all Santana wants is to go home and sleep but how can she resist those sparkling blue eyes asking her to stay over?

With both their parents away the two cheerleaders have been taking it in turns staying at each others houses; they say it gives them more 'Brittany and Santana time', but neither of them will admit that they feel safer in an empty house when they're together.

But on this particular day Santana had a pounding headache, not helped at all by the harsh fluorescent lighting in the choir room, and she was exhausted. She couldn't say no to Britt though, not when she looked into those eyes. No one could.

They fell into bed together as soon as they got home, the blonde cheerleader hoping to have some time 'together', but her friend was asleep before she even got a chance to change out of her Cheerios uniform. Snuggling in next to her Brittany quickly fell asleep.

She couldn't understand why she'd woken so early, according to her clock it was only 1:02 in the morning, but the bed was boiling. Throwing the covers back Brittany turned to Santana to see if maybe she was awake; she hadn't moved since she'd fallen asleep so abruptly. But something wasn't right, Britt was sure of it. When it came to her girl Brittany had an amazing sixth-sense and she knew something was off.

Reaching out to shake the Latino awake she realised why the bed felt so hot, Santana was boiling! Brittany pulled the covers off her and woke her up quickly. She barely stirred, squinting one eye to look up at her best friend before groaning and falling back asleep. This wasn't normal, Santana normally got friskier the more tired she was.

Brittany didn't know what to do, 'Tana was obviously sick, but not sick enough to go to hospital. Trying to remember what her Mother used to do when she got sick, Brittany ran downstairs to get some water.

Getting Santana to sit upright was a major effort in itself as she was shaking so hard, getting her to take a sip of the water was a whole different matter. No matter how much she tried the cheerleader refused to let Brittany bring the glass to her lips.

"Well" thought Brittany "desperate times call for desperate measures. And she looks so miserable, I hate seeing her sad".

Rummaging through her nightstand she pulled out the piece of paper she'd been looking for, quickly dialling the number in the top corner, she crossed her fingers hoping she wouldn't get the answering machine.

"Hello?" a mumbling, half-asleep voice answered on the other end of the phone.

"Mr. Schue; it's Brittany, from Glee." She added, just in case he forgot, "can you help me"

"Uh Britt it's 1:30 in the morning, what do you need?"

"It's Santana, she's sick and I don't know how to help her. Our parents are away and told us not to contact them unless I was dying and I'm scared, please help". She was pleading with him by the time she had finished talking.

Sighing Mr Schue agreed to come over as soon as he could.

Brittany was pacing back and forth in her room, stealing glances at Santana with every turn. Even now when she was sick, Brittany couldn't believe how beautiful she looked; cheeks flushed red and her face gentle in sleep the blonde knew she was lucky to have such an angel to watch over her. And now it was her turn to look after Santana, she was strangely proud to have such an important job; she couldn't let her stay sick.

As soon as the doorbell rang she sprinted downstairs to let Mr Schue in and dragged him upstairs as quickly as possible.

"Brittany I'm not sure is a good idea" Mr Schue said nervously, glancing around as if afraid Principal Figgins would jump out of the shadows to reprimand him, "Maybe you should just call a doctor?"

"No. You said you would always be there if we ever needed help, I know she's only got a temperature, but I'm scared. I don't know what to do."

"Okay, do you have a first aid you can bring upstairs?" he asked with a sigh.

Brittany ran into the bathroom and brought out an old lunchbox covered in unicorn and rainbow stickers;

"Here, please make her feel better. I don't like to see her sick" Brittany's voice trembled as she spoke;

"I'm not a doctor Britt but come on, I'll show you what to do. What are you two doing up so late on a school night anyway?"

"We weren't. I woke up and she was really hot, I couldn't get her to wake up properly so I got scared and I called you." Brittany almost seemed panicked by what the question could have suggested, so he dropped the subject.

Instructing Brittany on how to check Santana's temperature he watched as the digits crept higher before stopping on 38.4C.

"That's pretty high Brittany, I want you to check that every half hour to make sure it doesn't get worse. Put a cold, damp towel on her forehead and when she wakes up make sure you give her 2 teaspoons of the panadol, I've left it here. Okay?" Will was a bit worried about leaving the young cheerleader in Brittany's care, but the worry and adoration he saw on the blonde girls face as she looked down at her friend reassured him. "If she gets worse, call an ambulance. Not because she's very sick, but because they will know help you."

"Thank you so much Mr. Schue" Brittany replied watching him leave. She rushed into her bathroom and made a cold compress for Santana's head and made sure she was comfortable.

Taking position in her armchair, she waited up the entire night watching her friend sleep fretfully. Checking her temperature every half hour as instructed, it remained steady on 38.4C the entire night. Santana finally stirred at around 6:50 that morning and Brittany practically forced the medicine down her throat.

"Britt Britt? I don't feel so good" Santana moaned, hiding under her duvet to block out the light that just intensified her headache. "And you have to go to school."

After much pushing and persuading, with as much energy as she could muster, Santana finally convinced Brittany that she would be okay alone for a few hours while school was on.

Fussing over Santana in a motherly way Britt got ready to leave, but not before checking her temperature again so she could let Mr Schue know and leaving her with the bottle of medicine on the nightstand and a list of instructions on who to call if she felt worse.

Santana eased one eye open, risking the intense light worsening the pounding in her head, to sneak a look at Britt as she walked out the room, a ghost of a smile passing over her pale lips.

**I don't know whether to leave it here or continue on, my first try at writing anything so let me know what you think, any suggestions you have, just anything!**

**I hope it wasn't to bad.**


	2. Chapter 2

Brittany had spent the whole day on edge, she jumped at every loud noise and every time someone touched her unexpectedly; she was checking her phone every 3 minutes and nervously biting her lip when she realised there was no new messages. Her friends in Glee were starting to worry.

"Maybe something happened to her parents whilst they were on their holiday" Tina suggested,

"No that's not it, it's probably Santana, has anyone else noticed that the school seems a little warmer today? I think the ice queen is away." quipped Quinn. An awkward chuckle passed around the table as they all turned back to stare at Brittany across the cafeteria. She glanced up shyly as if she could sense their gaze; Rachel offered her a small wave and she smiled back before standing up and leaving the cafeteria.

"Oh well" sighed Mercedes "We'll sure as hell find out what's up in Glee".

Brittany was sat on the edge of her seat waiting for Mr Schue to enter the choir room, she could feel the others behind her whispering, and she knew that they were probably whispering about her, but she didn't care enough to turn around.

"Mr Schue" she cried out as he entered the room, hurrying up to the piano where he was placing his bag, "Can I talk to you?"

"Sure Brittany, how's Santana?" he asked her quietly, she obviously didn't want the others knowing that something was wrong, otherwise she would have had no problem discussing it with him in front of them.

Brittany fretfully chewed her bottom lip,

"I went to check on her at lunch time and she was still asleep" she worried "'Tana never sleeps past 9:00, she doesn't like laziness" Brittany explained.

"I'm sure there is nothing to worry about, she's sick Britt she needs some rest" he told her, "how was her temperature?"

Sighing, Brittany mumbled that it was still at 38.4, and she turned around to sit in her seat.

The other members had noticed Santana's absence and Brittany's clearly worried state, Mr Schue was having a hard time keeping them all focused on the task he had set. He decided to dismiss them early, reminding them to have a song ready for next week's lesson.

Britt couldn't remember ever making it back to her house so quickly, she had left her car parked at the school, choosing instead to run home, knowing it would be quicker.

She was relieved to see her Santana sat up in bed, even if she was as pale as a corpse, and nearly as lifeless. She offered Britt a small smile as she entered the room, but Brittany could see that even that took her a great amount of effort.

Climbing up onto the bed for a cuddle the blonde noted that Santana's temperature appeared to have dropped. Burying her face into the Latina's shoulder she let her tears fall,

"You scared me San" she mumbled "you were really sick" she could feel her girl softly stroking her hair with weak strokes, her hand near shaking from the effort.

"It's just exhaustion Britty" she breathed quietly "damn Cheerios regime, I haven't eaten properly for ages, Sue's master cleanse can't be healthy and I'm overworking. I promise I'll be fine tomorrow"

The brunette could feel her girlfriends head shaking back and forth,

"Nuh-uh, you're staying in bed" she chastised, "no more Cheerio's till Lord Tubbington and I say you are better"

"But Britt-Britt" Santana began, the blonde Cheerio didn't even need to cut her off, she broke off into a coughing fit before managing to rasp out a fine.

Brittany laid with the Latina until she had fallen asleep, stroking her hair and humming a light melody against her neck, even though Santana was still uncharacteristically warm and quiet, Brittany couldn't help but realise that they hadn't been this intimate for a long time.


	3. Chapter 3

All thoughts of intimacy were quickly forgotten by Brittany by midnight as she felt Santana stumble down from the bed and heard her footsteps running out of the door. Sitting up, Brittany rubbed the sleep from her eyes and got up to see where the Cheerio had gone.

She found her crouched over the toilet bowl, tears silently flowing as she leant back over the bowl again to empty the contents of her stomach. She stiffened as someone behind her pulled her hair back off her face, quickly relaxing when she felt Brittany's soft fingers stroking the loose tendrils back off her face.

"Sorry" she mumbled, sitting back and grabbing some toilet paper to wipe her face with.

Brittany shook her head, remembering how Santana's family didn't tolerate sickness of any kind, 'Tana wasn't used to anyone helping her when she was ill.

"Don't be sorry" she said gently, still caressing the girls hair.

Santana cursed inwardly as another wave of nausea hit her, crouching back over the toilet she tried to focus on Brittany's soft finger stroking her head and the feel of her breath on the nape of her neck. She couldn't stop the tears from cascading down her cheeks, she hated appearing so weak, thank God her family were away and couldn't see her in this state.

* * *

><p>They stayed in these positions until 6:00 that morning, Brittany bringing Santana water after she requested it, only to see it come back up 5 minutes later; this scared her the most. Santana had no food left instead of her, and watching her friend painfully retching into the toilet hurt her more than anything else. She ducked out to call Mr Schue, about half an hour after Santana had stopped hurling.<p>

"Mr Schue" she whispered quietly into the phone "she's really sick. She was up all night sick, but she's stopped now. What do I do?"

She could hear the other man sigh on the other end of the line,

"Oh Brittany I'm sorry that you have to deal with this. If you say she's stopped then that's good, it means that her body has fought off whatever was wrong with her"

Brittany tried to pretend like that statement hadn't confused her. What did he mean by fought off? Santana hadn't fought anyone last night, she'd been to sick.

* * *

><p>Hanging up she re-entered her bedroom to look at Santana, the girl had a bit of colour back in her cheeks and while she still looked slightly green, Brittany was relieved to see her keeping down the water she had drunk. Smiling at Brittany, San patted the bed next to her and the blonde climbed up next her.<p>

"Tell me a story" Santana yawned, as she snuggled down next to Britt, the covers pushed to the foot of the bed as her temperature was still yet to break.

This was an old ritual of theirs, no matter how tough and emotionless Santana would appear in front of others, Brittany always knew that truth. She couldn't sleep without one of her blonde's stories, and on the nights she was to tired to come up with one the she would whisper her wishes and secrets to the Latina.

"Not a story tonight 'Tana" Brittany whispered, "a secret".

* * *

><p>They both settled down together, their bodies fitting perfectly after years of sharing a bed, as Brittany began to whisper in Santana's ear.<p>

"I sit at my window still every night and wish on the first star I see; in second grade I was the one who put the secret valentines day card in your cubby; my favourite ice-cream isn't really banana, it's bubble gum, because the name sounds bubbly on my tongue when I say it, like it's ready to burst free"

Santana fell asleep smiling, wondering if Brittany would ever realise that she knew these things, they weren't secretes, Santana knew everything about Brittany.

* * *

><p>What she didn't know, was that Brittany continued whispering these secrets into Santana's ear long after she fell asleep. That some of the secrets she told, Santana didn't know, they were secrets that would have broken her heart.<p>

Brittany would tell her about how the thunderstorms scared her because the dark held all sorts of monsters, like her Opa when she was little and how he would get angry with her when she did something bad. She would tell her that she wasn't scared of dying, she was scared of living, because she never felt alive unless she was with Santana; how the thought of living without the Latina as her girlfriend made her cry every night, because she didn't want to live if she didn't know how to love her. She would whisper the secrets of her childhood, how summer was her favourite season because the heat burned her skin making her feel as little as she was. Her breath would mix with Santana's as she leant in closer to whisper that didn't like who she was; night after night. She had a depth to her that other's never saw, but the depth came at the cost of her own self esteem.

She whispered these while Santana was sleeping, because if she said them then, they would float away and be swallowed by the darkness. She could never understand why Santana's tears would sometimes fall amongst her own, can people cry in their sleep? But these secrets where hers, ones she could never tell Santana knowing she'd have to look into her eyes again the next morning.

She whispers one final secret in Santana's ear, one she learned long ago when Santana taught her Spanish, before drifting off to sleep alongside her friend,

"_La ilusión es necesaria para disfrazar el vacío dentro de"._

* * *

><p><strong>A bit longer than the last chapter, I wanted to toy with the idea that Brittany is the broken one more so than Santana.<strong>

**Also, I know that Britt calls her San not Tana, but Tana just sounds so freakin' adorable!**


	4. Chapter 4

Santana awakes with a start, she is shivering and has broken out in a cold sweat. Relieved that her fever has broken she grabs the covers off the end of the bed, being careful not to wake Brittany; squinting with concentration she tries to remember what the blonde had whispered to her as they fell asleep.

* * *

><p>She hated that she could never remember the secrets she told, or the strories she created; but Santana could never remember anything she heard as she fell asleep.<p>

She just wanted to know why she had been crying, as she did every night that Britty told her secrets, she wished she could remember what she had whispered.

* * *

><p>Rolling over she found herself staring in the shimmering blue eyes of the young Cheerio, a smile breaking out across her face as she leant over and kissed Britt on the forehead.<p>

"Thank you" she says, her voice raspy and her throat feeling like sandpaper.

The blonde girl just watches her silently, a look of relief washed over her face as she bounces up squealing.

"You're all better, oh San I was so worried" she pulls the Latina into a rib breaking hug and happily giggles in her ear. As she pulls away Santana notices a look of sadness and regret flicker across the girls face, but it happens so fast she has to question whether or not she actually saw it. But she knows she did, she see's it daily within Brittany's eyes. Shaking the nagging feeling that something is wrong away, Santana laughs her beautiful laugh, watching Brittany's face light up to see her so strong and happy.

"That's the last time I drink Sue's Master Cleanse."

* * *

><p><strong>Not sure whether or not to leave it there or to continue it and start looking at their relationship and Brittany's secret in a bit more detail... suggestions? <strong>


	5. Chapter 5

Each morning she woke up to the sight of the Brittany's blonde hair tousled and fanned out across her pillow, Santana counted herself to be one of the luckiest people in the world.

She pulled herself up into a sitting position and stared down at her girlfriend, she could smell the fresh vanilla and cinnamon scent, that she had for so long associated with the blonde; and looking around the room she couldn't help but smile. Much like Santana's room at her house, Brittany's bedroom felt like 'their' room; so much time was spent as each others houses that they shared closet space, they had their own toothbrush at each house, a draw in each others rooms and their walls were plastered with photos of the two girls as well as posters they had chosen together.

Santana felt more at home here in this room than she did anywhere. Ignoring the slight pounding that was still in her head and her sore throat, she slipped the nearest pair of slippers on, which happened to be Brittany's cat shaped ones, and padded across to the bathroom. God she needed to clean her teeth.

Looking in the mirror she realised that she needed a hell of a lot more than a good teeth clean to make her look decent. Hopping into the shower she scrubbed herself clean, softly singing as she did so.

* * *

><p>Brittany woke up to find her bed empty, she knew Santana had stayed the night as she could smell the light scent of sandalwood and spices that she had for so long associated with the brunette; and the pillow on Santana's side of the bed was slightly damp like she had been crying. Concerned, she rubbed the sleep from her eyes and stretched, trying to wake herself up a bit, she heard the shower going and the sweet sound of Santana singing coming through the door.<p>

_She would change everything, everything, just ask her_

_Caught in the in-between, a beautiful disaster_

_She just needs someone to take her home_

_She's given boys what they want_

_Tries to act so nonchalant _

_Afraid they'll see that she's lost her direction_

Brittany savoured the sound of her girlfriends voice before quietly pushing the door open; not wanting to disturb Santana, she crept up to the mirror and wrote a message in the steam before sneaking back out silently and heading downstairs.

* * *

><p>Stepping out of the shower Santana reached for the fluffy purple towel with the embroidered 'S' that Brittany had brought her for Christmas two years ago. Towelling off her hair she turned towards the mirror, the sight of Brittany's scrawl right in front of her face surrounded by a love heart was enough to bring a goofy grin to her face.<p>

'_Pancakes, if you think you feel well enough. Kitchen. Now'_

Hurrying to dry her hair, and pull on a clean pair of sweats and baggy McKinley sweater from her side of the closet she made her way down stairs listening to Brittany working in the kitchen.

* * *

><p>She hesitated at the door, watching as her girl danced around the room in her socks, measuring flour and other ingredients as she went; the radio turned up and 'Country Caravan by Blitzen Trapper' blaring out of the speakers. Brittany caught sight of Santana as she did a little twirl, egg whisk in hand; breaking out into a grin, she ran over to grab the Latina's hand and pulled her into a little dance.<p>

Laughing Santana collapsed exhausted into a kitchen chair,

"Sorry Britt-Britt" she laughed "not quite up for dancing just yet", trying to catch her breath she pulled the blonde down onto her lap nuzzling her neck, not quite risking a kiss just yet; she would hate herself if she made the girl sick.

Brittany pulled away giggling, standing up she ran over to finish up the pancakes,

"I only made you one mooie, I wasn't sure if you'd be able to handle more"

Santana felt herself swoon ever so slightly; both girls found it to be an incredible turn on when the other slipped back into their family's home languages. Dutch for Brittany and Spanish for Santana.

"You, mi niña, are absolutely perfect" Santana whispered as she wrapped her arms round Brittany's waist, "just a small one though please baby"

* * *

><p>Sitting at the table watching as the blonde girl danced her way around the kitchen, Santana was in awe of how graceful and happy she looked. She couldn't stop herself from staring, and giggled when Britt turned around to wink at her.<p>

Since when did Santana Lopez giggle?

"Get a hold of yourself woman" she murmered. She couldn't understand how the facade she put on at school was so easily torn down when she was with Britt. She was two different people, and she had to ensure that it stayed like this; she couldn't been seen as possessing a heart at school, she had to remain the cold heartless bitch they all believed her to be.

"_La ilusión es necesaria". _Santana almost jumps as she hears this in her mind, "The illusion is necessary". Where has she heard this before? For reasons she cannot begin to explain she hears this in Brittany's Spanish, a broken accent; the slight Dutch accent that, try as she might, Santana had never figured out how to get Britt to drop. She can't remember ever hearing the young cheerio say this, so why on earth could she hear it now?

Brittany's kneads her shoulder's from behind, planting a kiss on her head,

"What are you thinking about Tana?" she questions, snapping the girl out of her train of thought.

"oh.. umm, nothing. Sorry, those pancakes look great Britt, thank you." She smiles at Brittany as she sits down next to her, piling seven chocolate pancakes onto her plate. Santana grabs the plain one Brittany has made and cuts it up into bite size pieces.

They sit in silence, Brittany eating her way through the stack of pancakes piled high on her plate, Santana pushes hers slowly around her plate. After a few bites, the Latina feels her stomach turning and pushes the plate away.

"What's wrong?" Brittany asked, her blue eyes filled with concern, "Is it no good? Are you still sick? Do you want me to make you something else? Santana?"

Santana chuckles at Brittany's questions, "it's delicious Britt, I'm just not up to much food right now, sorry baby".

"Alright, try and eat something while I'm at school?" Brittany sighed in relief "God, I feel your mum right now Sanny"

Laughing, Santana pushed her chair back and brought the plate over to the sink,

"I'm actually coming in with you, I need to catch up with Coach Sylvester about the new routine"

"I'm leaving now Tana, you aren't dressed. And are you sure that's a good idea?"

Santana looked down at her attire, baggy sweatpants and shirt didn't exactly scream 'head-bitch', running her fingers through her damp, unstyled hair she shrugged.

"I really don't care" she said, "not because I'm still sick!" she quickly added seeing the look of worry in the young girls face, "I'm just exhausted, any make-up I put on now will just make me look worse".

Brittany nodded in understanding, rinsing the two plates, she skipped down the hall to grab their bags and dragged Santana out the door.

"The Glee kids will be happy to see you, Mr Schue was so worried about you after he saw you sick" the blonde babbled as started her car.

"Hold up" Santana held up her hand "when did Mr Schue see me Brittany. You better be joking. That's just plain weird"

"Right. Um…. About that" Brittany mumbled as they headed towards school.

* * *

><p><strong>Fluff chapter, which is pretty much what this will be. I don't want it to be an over-dramatic tale of over-coming the odds. Just a typical Brittanna week or two and what they do, I will focus a bit on Britt's issues though. I just think it's interesting to explore her being broken instead of Tana.<strong>

**Let me know what you think :)**


	6. Chapter 6

6

"Santana" Rachel cried out as the two Cheerios entered the choir room "It's so good to see, well to see. Anyway, um, you look different. Is everything okay?"

Santana rolls her eyes at the dwarfs hyper-babble, but found she had no energy left after the long day to even come up with a retort.

Dear God what was wrong with her?

"I'm fine Berry" she says, turning to walk towards her chair, this might have been more convincing if her legs had not been shaking under the effort of keeping her body up. Britt was right, it wasn't a good idea to come into today.

She knew she would regret not bothering to put on any make-up, or even pulling her hair back in a ponytail. But not wearing her Cheerios uniform? Well that was practically social suicide. Everyone had been staring at her where ever she went, and not with the fearful look they normally had. No some of them had even looked pitying, just as the Glee kids were now.

"I was sick for God's sake, that's all." She practically yelled at them all "Yeah I didn't bother getting dressed properly this morning, but jeez I'm exhausted."

The other members looked at Brittany, as if waiting for her to confirm what Santana had said,

"She was really, really sick guys. Even ask Mr Schue. She hasn't eaten for the last 2 days". Santana rolled her eyes wishing that Britt would learn when to stop talking. Now they were looking at her with even more pity than before.

Throwing up her arms in defeat she turned around in her chair and faced the front waiting for Mr Schuester to arrive; trying to ignore the whispers behind her she stared intently at the piano, watching a spider crawl its way up the leg.

"It explains why she's so pale"

"and she looks so thin. I wonder what happened"

"$5 says it's Chlamydia" she hears Puck mutter.

Rolling her eyes again she pushes herself up to leave, but feels her legs fold beneath her and she falls back onto her chair. Right, well maybe Britt was right, she should have had a salad or something at lunchtime.

She can feel Brittany's hand grab her arm in concern, she looks to her left and watches as the girl pulls an apple out of her bag and hands it to her. Tucking a strand of loose hair behind her ear she orders the brunette to eat. Sighing, Santana obliges.

* * *

><p>"<em>You tell me to find someone else to love,<br>Someone who'll love me too, the way you used to do.  
>But each time I go out with some one new,<br>You walk by and I fall to pieces._

You walk by and I fall to pieces."

Santana can't help but be impressed as Rachel finishes singing. Taking the last bite of her apple she tosses it into the bin and offers Rachel a small smile as she walks by. The look of shock that flitters across Rachel's face makes Santana inwardly kick herself, what happened to keeping the walls up? She makes sure that her face is settled back into it's usual stone-cold expression before Mr Schue calls up the next person to sing, when he calls Brittany's name she replaces this with a smile, trying to hide the shock that must be written across her face.

She didn't know that Britt had been preparing a song; and Mr Schue had asked them all to sing songs that would express their inner most fears. While they considered themselves girlfriends, no one knew they were dating, Santana felt a sense of panic settle over her.

* * *

><p>As soon as Britt stood in front of that piano though, nervously playing with the hem of t-shirt, anything she was feeling became inadequate as a sense pride and absolute adoration washed over her.<p>

"I'm, um, is it okay if I sing two songs Mr Schue?" Brittany whispered. He nodded, and she opened her mouth to begin;

"_So here we stand  
>In our secret place<br>With a sound of the crowd  
>So far away<br>And you take my hand  
>And it feels like home<br>We both understand  
>It's where we belong<em>

_So how do I say?  
>Do I say goodbye?<br>We both have our dreams  
>We both wanna fly<em>

_So let's take tonight  
>To carry us through<br>The lonely times_

_I'll always look back  
>As I walk away<br>This memory  
>Will last for eternity<br>And all of our tears  
>Will be lost in the rain<br>When I've found my way  
>Back to your arms again<br>But until that day  
>You know you are<br>The queen of my heart"_

The words that Brittany was singing soon faded out in Santana's ears as she just stared at the girl in front of her, the beauty in her face was un-miss able, she was glowing with happiness as she stared in the Latina's eyes singing for her and her alone.

* * *

><p>As the song came to a close, Britt began fidgeting even more,<p>

"Mr Schue, you said the song had to express our inner most fears and feelings, so I tried to find one that explain everything I've only ever told one person before. But she won't remember, so I need to sing it." She told him

"I.. I'm scared" she whispered, so quietly only Santana could make out what she had said. Brow furrowed she looked questioningly at the blonde, who shook her head, tears already starting to form in her eyes.

Santana sat their worrying about what it was that Brittany had told her, she could feel herself tearing up just looking at the fear in the young girls eyes; she looked so innocent standing up there, so young and vulnerable.

Santana had the urge to run up and drag her away, away from the hurt that she seemed to be feeling right now and away from the world. As the first chords began playing Santana leant forward, waiting to hear what Brittany had to tell her.

"_I never thought I'd die alone  
>I laughed the loudest who'd have known?<br>I trace the cord back to the wall  
>No wonder it was never plugged in at all<br>I took my time, I hurried up  
>The choice was mine I didn't think enough<em>  
><em>I'm too depressed to go on<em>  
><em>You'll be sorry when I'm gone<em>

_I never conquered, rarely came_  
><em>Sixteen just held such better days<em>  
><em>Days when I still felt alive<em>  
><em>We couldn't wait to get outside<em>  
><em>The world was wide, too late to try<em>  
><em>The tour was over, we'd survived<em>  
><em>I couldn't wait till I got home<em>  
><em>To pass the time in my room alone<em>

_I never thought I'd die alone_  
><em>Another six months I'll be unknown<em>  
><em>Give all my things to all my friends<em>  
><em>You'll never step foot in my room again<em>  
><em>You'll close it off, board it up<em>  
><em>Remember the time that I spilled the cup<em>  
><em>Of apple juice in the hall<em>  
><em>Please tell mom this is not her fault<em>

_I never conquered, when you came_  
><em>Sixteen just held such better days"<em>

Santana sat in horror watching her best friend tell her everything she had told her before, every whispered secret as she fell asleep, every tear she had shed listening to her girlfriend tell her couldn't live if she didn't have Santana, all them were falling now. Cascading down her cheeks.

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><p>She didn't allow Brittany to finish, walking towards her she wiped the tears from Brittany's face unable to stop fresh ones falling from both their eyes. She held her tight as she fell into her arms. Lowering the two of them to the floor she held her, tighter than she ever had before, with more need than ever before.<p>

"Never" she whispered, "Never will you be alone. We need each other you and me, and we'll never hide. You'll always have me. You never have to be scared of anything again. I'll always be here."

She whispering hurriedly into Brittany's ear, needed to make sure she understood, that she knew she wouldn't ever be alone. Brittany's tears eased, and she looked at Santana,

"Never?"

"Never"

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><p><strong>Okay so that a bit over-dramatic, which is exactly what I said I wouldn't do... <strong>

**Let me know what you think. I was going to act all cool and upload a new chapter each week, but I already had them written so I figured there was no harm in throwing them all up tonight.**


	7. Chapter 7

_**2 weeks** **later**_

A Friday afternoon in Ms Pillsbury's office was the last thing Santana needed right now.

"Look Miss P, I get that Britta here has been having trouble, and believe me I want to help her more than any of the fuckers in the school. But we have practice starting in 10, and we needs to get to the change rooms."

Brittany and herself had spent the 2 weeks sat here, ever since Brittany's breakdown in Glee Club last fortnight Mr Schue and Ms P had been trying to get her to open up and talk. But the harder they seem to push, the more she closes up.

Santana's tried explain how Britt's mind works, if she feels pressured she closes down. She talks of her own free will, not when she is forced to; her words don't work the same as most people's do, she has to figure out how to find them before she can use them. But neither of them will listen to reason, and Britt won't go into Ms P's office without Santana.

Not that Santana blames her, walking into that office gives one the sense of walking into a sterilised pysch ward; the smell of detergent, insanely organised shelves and desktops. That isn't the sort of environment Britt is used to; being somewhere unfamiliar won't help them in getting her to talk.

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><p>The only one who hears her secrets, her fears, her wishes is Santana, Brittany doesn't want anyone else to know. Tana cares about her, she loves her, and that is more than anyone else feels towards her. When she tells Tana how sad she feels sometimes it feels like she has been running really fast, she is short of breath and shaky, but she feels lighter, so much happier having hurt herself to help herself.<p>

And Santana just listened, to everything. She had since they were little; when they were 5 and Brittany came home from holidays to Holland, Santana would listen as she told her how her Opa had broken her crayons, and one time, her arm. She would listen when they were 8 and Brittany was crying over her goldfish dying. When they were 13 and Brittany told her about the man that took her virginity at cheerleading camp, Santana just listened. There had never been a time that her best friend wasn't there, and she didn't understand why Ms P kept telling her that she needed to talk; she was wasn't she?

Brittany was so used to talking to her girlfriend that the thought of talking to anyone else seemed foreign and scary. Besides, she had no fears anymore; Santana was hers forever. So long as she was there, the monsters wouldn't dare hurt her.

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><p>That evening after practice had finished, the two girls found themselves heading down to the park for one last night of freedom before Santana's parents returned home the following night.<p>

Racing each other towards the swings, Brittany tackled Santana to the floor, they lay there next to each trying to catch their breath before the blonde straddled the head cheerio and began tickling her until she admitted defeat.

They climbed to the top of the climbing frame and down on the warm plastic together, both of them content to just be in each others arms, nothing more than holding each as they watched the sunset.

Santana felt Britt shift slightly as she searched the sky for the first star to wish upon; they both found it at the same time,

"Star, Star, first star I see tonight, may I wish, may I might, have this wish I wish tonight"

Both of them quietly whispered their secret wishes before collapsing into giggles again. Santana had never felt so free as when she was withBrittany, and tonight lying under the stars with her girl, she finally felt complete.

Tilting the blondes face towards hers, Santana leaned in to kiss her, slowly but firmly; she tried to put everything in that she couldn't find the words to say. Every emotion that ran through her when she looked into those beautiful blue eyes, she wantedBrittanyto feel it and to understand it. Britt's kiss quickened, became firmer, a lot more passionate as her hand slid up Santana's top, kneading at her back, her stomach, running her hand down her waist. Santana moaned with pleasure as her fingers ran along the top of her cheerio skirt;Brittany's fingers worked their way down under the hem of her underwear, running along the edge of the soft skin of her thighs.

Santana's kisses deepened, she ran her lips up Britt's neck, enjoying the feeling of her shuddering beneath her; almost as much as she was enjoying the feeling of Brittany's fingers as they slowly worked their way in her pant line, stroking her soft skin. She moaned into Britt's shoulder as her fingers flicked out quickly and hit her sensitive spot. She could feel herself becoming wet already, and screamed out in protest as Brittanystood up and began climbing back down the climbing frame.

"Where are you going?" She cried out, still flustered and slightly confused about what had just happened.

Brittany only looked at her and winked.

"Follow me and you'll see just how many times I can make you scream"

Scrambling down the climbing frame ahead of Brittany, Santana was halfway across the playground when Brittany's feet hit the floor. Turning to watch as her blonde haired beauty came jogging towards here, Santana raised her upwards and silently thanked whoever was up there for making her wish come true.

"Just you wait until tonight Britt-Britt" Santana thought, "I'll render you incapable of wishing for the next 2 days", chuckling to herself, she picked up the pace. Always one step ahead of her girlfriend.

**The End**

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><p><strong>Okay so it wasn't fantastic. But I've written anything before, I know I have a lot of improvements to make in my writing, but I don't think that it is horrific!<strong>


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